I recently heard someone say it’s better to call in than call
out. She distinguished between calling in – speaking up when someone does the
right thing – as opposed to calling out – speaking up when someone does the
wrong thing. As a psychologist-in-training, I am in full support of relying on reinforcement
as opposed to punishment to shape behavior. And so, I wish to share an encounter
last week that I believe deserves calling in.
Thursday was my first day starting a new clinical practicum
position. I was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. And, I was in a
hospital. For me, hospitals are among the hardest places to navigate. There
are multiple buildings with different wings. The lighting is harsh, the hallways
look identical, and most signage is small and lacks Braille. Knowing I would be
traveling alone, I planned ahead, budgeted extra time, and used my cane. Despite these precautions, I could regale you with my often-humorous and frequent missteps
along the way. Instead, I wish to share a brief yet powerful
interaction with one of my future colleagues.
I was awkwardly hovering in a hallway before a meeting. One
of the staff psychologists approached me. We hadn’t spoken to each other
directly, though we had been in an orientation meetings together. We began
chitchatting, and she stated, “I noticed you have a cane, and I wanted to ask
if you have any needs I should be sensitive to?” I explained the ways in which I
imagine my disability impacting our interactions.
“I have low vision, which means I may not recognize you in
the hallways, but please do not see that as my disinterest in socializing. It’d
help me if you greet me, telling me who you are.” She thanked me for the explanation
and invited me to let her know if other needs arise.
She saw me, observed I may have differences in physical ability,
and sought guidance about what I needed. She exercised tact, waiting to ask me in a private
interaction. She did not act as though I am able-bodied; she did not presume my
ability or my needs. Instead, she asked open-mindedly and non-judgmentally. She
did not express pity or place me on a pedestal. She did not denounce me or
question my qualifications. While I cannot
know what she was thinking or feeling, I can only imagine that this was
uncomfortable for her. She may have questioned whether she was “doing the right
thing” - using the right language, striking the right tone, asking for the
right level of detail. And still she asked,
which communicated strength, humility, and acceptance.
